That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the television offerings of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with woeful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final series started, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the last season. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this show's issues. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful parade of cliches? Acting so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

MobLand

Shady characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee homemaking as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was like consuming a sales brochure. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly breezy, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.